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satan calls out suicide
08.26.05 (5:07 pm)   [edit]

Satan calls out suicide


in my mind


then i cry


I cry out to Jesus


protect my heart


from this lie


I am so weak


to my flesh


I despise


but with Him


i am fine


He will rise


save my life


 

 
in highschool
08.18.05 (3:46 pm)   [edit]

Hey everyone! today was a good day i guess. My friend had her baby and he is a BEAUTIFUL baby boy. School is so frustrating, and really this year i have good classes and all but the people are driving me insane. So many people just got stuck up for no reason and almost all the rest got to be horrible just bad and i am not real strong and get affected by that when i hang out with people like that alot.


These are the people you will meet in highschool


the stupidest people you will ever meet


the smartest people yopu will ever meet


the probably most of the prettiest people youll ever meet


the creepiest kid ever


and finally, those kids that make no sense to anyone and dress like they are cool in their stupid looking clothes that most people are afraid of

 
read me
08.02.05 (9:43 am)   [edit]
Jesus te amo! Jesus loves you! No seriously its true. God loves you more than you could possibly imagine. He is waiting for you to give Him a chance to change your life, all yo have to do is let HIm
 
Hows life?
07.31.05 (4:11 pm)   [edit]
Everyone how are you today? Honestly i want to know how your life is going
 
Are you for abortion?
07.28.05 (12:55 pm)   [edit]
I have one thing to say. If its not a baby, you are NOT pregnant
 
USA again today
07.25.05 (3:07 pm)   [edit]
Well life is starting to go back to usual sort of. Its sad. But my sister is going to be gaurdian of a little girl from Peru and i get to go back with her and see my buddies God willing.
 
te amo peru
07.22.05 (12:23 pm)   [edit]
Im back that was sooooo great. God is so good. If anyone gets the chance go to Pucallpa Peru and visit the people at the calvary in Marta Chavez. The most amazing beautiful people live there they are so sweet and loving and just amazing.
 
some stuff everybody should know
07.10.05 (3:33 pm)   [edit]
This world sucks. It really does. But thank the Lord there is a future beyond this. We dont have to spend eternity on this stupid earth, and we have the choice not to go to hell even though we deserve it. We have the oppurtunity to be with Jesus eternally, and it is so simple. Not easy but life changing and simple. You just have to ask Him to forgive you, and give Him your life. God can take care of you if you agree to abey Him, and elswise He will do the best He can but its hard to help someone who is trying to disobey all the rules you have to help them. Its kind of like when a little kid wants to touch the stove and their parents tell them not to, well they just see this big thing that looks cool and want to touch it,, they dont see the danger and they get upset when they are told they cant touch it. thats how we are with God
 
tomorrow!
07.10.05 (12:20 pm)   [edit]

well everyone im leaving tomorrow for peru please be praying

 
who are you people?
07.09.05 (5:58 pm)   [edit]
Ok people i dont know any but 3 of you, heres some stuff about me that you are going to find out, fairly useless information
1.i love God first and formost in my life , followed by Aaron.
2.i am not shy when its not face to face, so ask whatever you want i will more than likely answer
3.i love chocolate
ok your turn now you have to tell me 3 about you
 
abcs
07.08.05 (2:04 pm)   [edit]
A-age- 15
B- band- it would be changed by the time i post it possibly skillet
c- crush- Aaron
d- dads name- Nick
e- easiest person to talk to-Aaron
f- favourite ice cream- february's flavor at baskin robins
g- gummy bears or worms?- bears
h- hometown- Tome, NM
i- instruments- bass&nb sp;
j- junior high- Middle School - awkward
k- kids- none yet
l- longest car ride ever- um no idea maybe Idaho
m- moms name- Lynna
n- nicknames- kaboom, squirell,pooki(dont ask i wont tell you anyways), blea
o- one wish- i could actually spend time with aaron besides at church
p- phobias- bugs in my bed (i dont mind if they are outside but not inside my bed
q- quote from you- be your own fish
r- Reason to smile- i get to stay home tonight and talk to aaron
s- song u sang last- Out for the summer by annie hoover and me and micheal
t- Time you woke up today- 7:15
u- unknown fact about me- i dont like to wear tennis shoes
v- vegetables you hate- broccoli, cooked peas and carrots
w- worst habit- I procrastinate
x- x-ray u had - my stomach oh wait that was ultra sound, well close enough to an xray, possibly could have been my head i dont really remember
y- years since u been to a religious place- day before yesterday
z- zodiac sign- pisces
 
the rest of it
07.07.05 (6:06 pm)   [edit]

Ive been informed i missed a whole lot of this dealie i was sent so heree is the rest of it


5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1) Chocolate
2) Oreos and milk
3) Sun chips, regular ones
4) February's icecream at Baskin robins


5) Water


5 Songs I Know All The Words To:
1) That on country song at the auction about the blonde
2) Come away with me


3) I feel like a woman
4) Out for the Summer
5) Whiskey Lulaby


5 Things I Would Do With $100,000,000:
1) Buy stuff for everybody i felt like(that includes me yes)
2) sponsor a child


3) send savannah to peru
4) give a bunch to calvary
5) save the rest for a house and living in a few years


5 Locations I`d Like to Run Away To:
1) Panama
2) Mexico
3) Sacramento
4) New York
5)Alb


5 Bad Habits I Have:
1) Procrastinator


2) Dont eat right
3) sometimes worry about aaron more than God
4) have bad self esteem
5) cant stand up to my mother


5 Things I like Doing:
1) talking to Aaron
2) going to church
3) playing bass
4) listening to music
5) reading


5 Things I Would Never Wear:
1) Manson Tshirt
2) slutty clothes before im married(thats only for my husband)
3) Stilletos
4) my moms dress jackets
5) All my old wanna be punk/goth clothes


 


5 T.V. Shows I Like:
1) CSI
2) Music Videos that dont make me sick
3) Recess
4) most things on lifetime(shut up i know its cheesy)


5) most things on the spanish channel


5 Movies I Like:
1) Evr After
2) Ray
3) Jackie Chan movies
4) Chasing Papi
5) Fast and the Furious


 




5 Famous People I'd like to Meet:
1) Brian Welsh !(so inspirational id love to meet him)   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  2) Mel Gibson
3) KJ-52
4) Jessica Simpson
5) Amy Lee



5 Historical People I'd like to Meet:
1) King David


2) Mary
3) Martin LutherKing Jr


4) Ruth
5) Mary Magdalene


5 Biggest Joys at the Moment:
1) God
2) Aaron
3) Going to Peru
4) Seeing Aaron happy
5) Recording my cd


5 Favorite Toys:
1)my bass
2) my truck
3) sockem boppers
4) bubble gum
5) water bottle caps

 
Yay! Peru!
07.07.05 (3:04 pm)   [edit]
We recorded our first real cd today! Im excited woo! Im leaving for Peru on monday so be praying and  if anyone would please pray for my buddy John, he is supposed to go to Peru but his passport hasnt come in yet. His dad is going to get it in Texas tomorrow and there are 3 or 4 of us fasting we have been since tuesday so hopefully his dad gets back tomorrow night. Well be praying and if anyone wants to fast with us right on to you.
 
Yay! Peru!
07.07.05 (2:59 pm)   [edit]
We recorded our first real cd today! Im excited woo! Im leaving for Peru on monday so be praying and  if anyone would please pray for my buddy John, he is supposed to go to Peru but his passport hasnt come in yet. His dad is going to get it in Texas tomorrow and there are 3 or 4 of us fasting we have been since tuesday so hopefully his dad gets back tomorrow night. Well be praying and if anyone wants to fast with us right on to you.
 
ive been hit!
06.27.05 (8:11 pm)   [edit]

10 years ago- I was carefree happy and afraid of going to school for the first time


5 years ago- i was student body president and top reader in the school the pride of the family


1 year ago- I was a cutter and it was really kind of a breaking point in my christian walk


Yesterday- i talked to aaron all night after not being home all weekend


Today- i watched 3 movies and tried to get over not feeeling well


tomorrow- might go to the museum with my little cousin or sleep in

 
Be happy not lonely
06.27.05 (6:04 pm)   [edit]

Everyone feels lonely sometimes, unwanted, unloved. I dont know why it is that when we feel this way it seems that there is nobody who goes through it besides ourselves. I bring this up because right now im feeling pretty lonely. I know i complain too much but thats what im good at. I havent seen Aaron for almost a week and he isnt talking to me now cus we were fighting and i thought it was all ok but he wont talk to me so who knows. Maybe he is asleep, well regardless im missing him. Pathetic but true im dying after only a few days. I have talked to practically no one this summer outside of people from church and annie hoover(remember that name she will be famous someday). I guess it could be worse, I could be in another state bored out of my mind, or have no friends. Gah! im going crazy i need sleep or food or i dunno what.

 
Bed bugs
06.27.05 (1:26 pm)   [edit]

This weekend we went camping. Well we were crashing a family reunion of my uncles wife's family. So anyways, my friend and i were sleeping in my sisters car and a few bugs had been in there while we were getting ready to go to sleep. I have a huge problems with bugs being inside especilally in my bed. Outside thats fine but thats where they should stay. We got the few that were around out and were ready to crash when i felt something on my leg. I screamed and threw it across the vehicle. "it felt like a raisin but why would a raisin be in my bed" i was saying slightly hysterical. As i said bed i turned on the light and saw a large raisin where the bug had been flung.

 
happy times
06.23.05 (6:30 pm)   [edit]
Life is good and God is so awesome
 
good day
06.23.05 (5:35 pm)   [edit]
Yay! great new my love has given his problems to Jesus yet again and is happy again. It is so amazingly good. There are some of his friends who read his confession blog and havent talked to either of us since and i think thats jacked if they have no other reason so je and lisa if you are reading this talk to aaron at least he misses you guys me too. well hope everyone is doign well thanks for the prayers they helped immensly
 
feels like stagnant water
06.22.05 (12:21 pm)   [edit]
Well the last day or so has been eventful. Yesterday i went to one of my best firends house, Annie Hoover remember the name now cus she is on her way to the top( she sings and plays guitar) anyways she wrote her first christian song on monday night well early tuesdau morning and yesterday we played it(i play bass) and today she got her first recording. it was just a spur of the moment thing that her mom's friend did. The other thing that happened was that my youth pastor's wife knows that one i love cut his wrist las t week and now he will have to be counseled by her husband and tell his mother about it. this is good even though it seems like its not. See he let everything go to God and told me he had to keep doing that but on saturday i think it was, he stopped letting go againg and the depression started to build up again. He knows he has to give the situation to God but he hasnt yet. Its heartbreaking to watch in more ways than one. He is a hwole different person. I really didnt realize how much stress was taken off since he has been better. God is amazing that way. But now its all back again and its like trying to carry a barbell with my left pinky. I think thats why others had to find out is because God knew he wasnt letting go and he needed a push to keep him going and im not enough of a push. Please guys dont stop praying for this right now it will get better but i dont know how close or how far off that is
 
Forgiveness issues
06.20.05 (10:41 am)   [edit]
Mi familia has forgivness issues. Ok this is the main problem, one of my cousins bought half of the family business the other one that wanted to got all mad cus his offer wasnt chozen cus he pretty much wanted it given to him for less than a decent car price. Well he was making life for everyone miserable at work so my dad wrote him a kinda harsh email telling him to get anger counseling so he would stop being such a jerk. He read this at my cousins house (his sister) where their parents were staying at the time and his dad had just had a major heart surgery. He caused a huge scene and his mom took his side they yelled at my parents and his other sister and her sons and just had it out. Since then he quit working there and doesnt talk to anyone in the family but his parents and the sister who's house it happened at. Everyone else wont talk to him either because he said hurtful things and caused a problem that could have given his dad a heart attack at the time. This was over a year ago and they still get so furious even thinking about it and can rant for hours. They all say they will never forgive him and he wont forgive unless he is contacted first. This is even worse because he doesnt want his daughters around us and i grew up with them spending every summer at their house almost every day so not only is our family split up but i dont get to see my cousins anymore because of it. pray for all of this please 
 
confessions
06.18.05 (7:21 pm)   [edit]

Well here goes my first entry be prepared


in the last year i have realized my love for one of the best friends id ever had dated him come pretty much as close to not being a virgin as you can and overdosed slightly to get a high off of it 2 times also i had a 3rd cutting incident. now for most people this seems like it would be a bad thing but not too bad yet it has been much worse on my concience than the usual. the reason is because im a christian supposed to be working for God and showing people that He can change us. He has believe me he really has but that doesnt mean im perfect just cus God is living in my heart. It really bothers me too because i really hate to disappoint God. not only that but i havie a very loving boyfriend well technically not boyfriend at the time but yeah i also hurt him by doing these things and thats really bad cus he has been in a hard depression for the last year and a half and thats when all of this occured. He is getting better at an amazing pace since he finally let the Lord have it all. the most recent thing that happened between the 2 of us was a few weeks it was a horrible guilt to live with for both of us we spent a week that i hardly talked to him and then he gave it to God. since then we have been doing good we broke up and decided to get more mature and closer to God before we were back together. Well i decided and he agreed to it. some more things i should have out in the open


i have attempted suicide once about 2 years ago


i have honestly hated my mother (about the same time as the last)


well the rest of the story will be told filling in the blanks and such throughout my entrys must go the love of my life is waiting to talk to me